Words spoken from a parent to a child are incredibly powerful. Quick comments such as
“you’re a liar” or “why can’t you be more like your brother”, and similar quotes, pierce a child’s heart. I know that as a parent we all experience tense moments of frustration or disappointment with our children. You’ve no doubt had those moments that either turn you into Godzilla, turn your hairs gray, or make you feel like taking a vacation from those crazy kids. But it is never okay to use your words in a destructive manner.
So what do we do with them when we feel we have lost control and want to use strong language to solve the problem?
Send them to the grandparents! No, not really. First off, realize that there is a problem in asking ourselves that question. Our children are not servants to control in our own personal kingdom. And I’m sure you have realized over time that controlling them is not a legitimate option in the first place. So, what to do, you ask, when tempted to spout off?
While reading author Tedd Tripp’s book titled “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”, 
I have been reminded over and over in the past few months of what is the true issue with our children. I have had several parents at church approach me lately about various behavioral issues with their child. So, no, you’re not the only one! Whew! And every time I’ve reminded them that their child’s particular “behavior problem” is NOT the problem at all. Sin is the problem, and sin alone. Sin is always rebellion, always an attempt to control our own lives, and always looking out for one’s interests without much regard for others. And as you know, sin is not something that has to be taught to children. Righteousness in children, however, must be trained. And training a child unto righteousness goes deeper than a simple behavioral change or one magical loud conversation where they suddenly “get it”. True transformation in your child will come when their hearts are turned towards Christ. As your child’s parent, it is your job to make sure that every word spoken or action performed by you affects heart change. So how do you address the heart?
To answer that question, we turn to Tedd Tripp who says, “Your concern is to unmask your child’s sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed. That leads to the cross of Christ. It underscores the need for a Savior. It provides opportunities to show the glories of God who sent his Son to change hearts and free people enslaved to sin.” In short, constantly point your children away from sin by pointing them towards Jesus. Your child’s greatest need is not a good behavioral change through the perfect form of discipline, but rather forgiveness of sins. Your child needs a Savior and his name is Jesus. Yes, your child may lie or do something to sin against themselves and against you. But that only makes your child what we all are, sinners in need of a Savior. Fill your words with truth and grace as you lead them towards Christ and they will love and respect you in return.
-Ryan Golightly
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Good Job, RG!!!